Not 100% sure why I’m posting right now. :) I do…
April 5, 2007 by Mommy Zabs
Filed under Entertainment, Family, Motherhood
Not 100% sure why I’m posting right now. 
I don’t really want to expose you to another rant on how hard it was to have an almost 3 year old today on our second day with out daddy. Or how my throat still hurts a bunch. Or how if Owen hits Lukas in the face one more time I may officially lose it (I’m trying so hard not to lose it!) Or how I am literally learning the “praying without ceasing” principle through my children. Though my prayers often resemble…”God Please help me”, “Jesus, what do I do?” or quoting to myself “slow to anger, abounding in love.”
I’m so completely blessed to have easily, and surprisingly gotton pregnant with 2 precious boys… and this fact makes any complaints about it seem…. I don’t know, shallow? I don’t want to be a negative person, let alone blog. But truely… I’m exhuasted.
I just don’t know how to get through to Owen. I know, consistancy. And I’m trying, I’m doing all I can to be consistant. Most of the time he acts like he doesn’t hear a word I say. He acts chipper and goes right along his disobedient way. And there is really no one else he does this too. When he is with other adults he is kind, respectful, and incredibly polite most the time. (which gives me hope!) But to me… he is constantly testing. Constantly. The thing is, he is SO me. I mean I can’t tell you how often he reacts how I feel like reacting. I feel like in ways I get him, because I was so much like him. For some reason this seems to make our relationship difficult, though I can’t make the connection as to why.
Anyway, other than that. The weather is nuts. It has been beautiful. My grass is green and lush, all my trees lining my lot are in full bloom. The daffodiles and tulips are up! And then… It’s FREEZING TODAY and it literally snow. I mean enough to accumulate in my flower beds. Oh spring please come back! I was ready to put the dreaded winter coats away!
On another note, my husband is IM’ing me some of the interesting Cuban Billboards… will post after this.
loving my life on Fri, 6th Apr 2007 12:28 pm
Oh Elizabeth, I understand you are not shallow for being exhausted and close to losing it. You are just a mom who is doing alot with little or no help right now. Don’t worry you will be back to your old self soon and this will all pass… Prayers and love to you and yours…
Rosco on Sat, 7th Apr 2007 4:20 am
Elizabeth: breathe. That’s really the most important part, even when Owen is being a handful. I totally understand; my daughters have a lot of spine/backbone, and I am barely blessed with one.
They say “pick your battles.” And I can tell you that some things don’t matter (If my younger daughter picks out her clothes and dresses herself, I don’t care if they match) in the short run ( My girls were playing with the hose today outside; it’s 77 degrees, even if it IS April in Oregon). Find the battles that matter and focus on them, let the other ones go.
It’s funny to hear myself saying it because I’m so bad at it myself.
There’s no way you’re “shallow” for being exhausted. I can never imagine, now that I’ve had kids; even when I had just one — how single parents handle it. When Mrs B (my wife) is gone for any length of time, I close-to-go-nuts myself. It’s a good thing that the elder daughter gets out of the house and goes to school. 
Anyway; you’re not alone. We all have those days. Roll with it, and figure out which things matter. You’re doing great.