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If She Were Alive Today.

July 24, 2007 by Mommy Zabs  
Filed under Family, Group Writing Project

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Group Writing Project time again! This month’s theme is “Thanks mom”.

If She were alive today I would say:

Mom you raised me in the church, you taught me about how much Jesus loved me and had a purpose for my life. You always cherished the way God made me, the personality he formed in me, not just by your words, but in your actions. You always reminded me to measure what I learned from church and school against the Word of God. That tool has kept me from many deceptive doctrines.

You sacrificed your life for me on a daily basis yet were still able to forgive me when I would scream “I HATE YOU” in a fit of teenage rage. You put up with a snotty girl and told me my attitudes made me ugly. Thank you for telling me that I look worse with a frown when I’m bemoaning my appearance than I ever did before. That a girl looking so unhappy was never pretty.

You were brave enough to confront me when I started dating a guy that did not meet the criteria I considered important. I did eventually listen. I wish you could have lived to see that, and could know the amazing man I married.

You always told me that even though I could out-debate you, did not make me right and you wrong. I will always be sorry I pushed you knowing I could “win” any argument. Those difficult teen years! I wish you could have seen me beyond them.

Thank you for the way you disciplined my bad attitudes and my rebellion. I am learning just how tiring being consistent can be. How did you make it?

Thank you most for the constant demonstration of your LOVE, whether at each moment it came with a heavy hand, or a warm hug.

The only thing that I can not thank you for that I wish I could, would be for staying around to watch me grow into an adult and have my own children. I miss you daily, and will always hate the cancer that took you from us.

Sometimes tears strike me sitting in traffic, or when the kids are playing in the park. Other times I just want to pick up the phone and call you to ask how you made it. I’m not sure I’ll ever “get used to” the concept that I don’t have you in my life. That cancer took you from us 13 years ago.

It comforts me to know that I will see you again. I have no idea what it is like to expect anything less. How much I wish you never left. There is an empty space in my heart, in my life, that will remain until I see you again. God has brought amazing people into my life, like my mother-in-law and step-mother. But despite how great they are, the place in my heart that belongs to you will always ache. I will always miss you. And I know that my gratefulness will grow as long as I’m alive. I never realized enough how much you gave.

Love you Always,

Your Sweet Pea

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Comments

36 Comments on "If She Were Alive Today."

  1. Jenn on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 12:52 pm 

    This is beautiful! I am hoping to write mine this week, too. What a beautiful was to honor your mom!

    Thanks Jenn. Will look forward to reading yours.

  2. nicole fortunato on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 1:00 pm 

    i love you elizabeth. you are a great mother; she would be proud!

  3. Just Mom on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 1:20 pm 

    Very touching.

    thanks.

  4. holly on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 1:37 pm 

    So lovely.

    thanks.

  5. misi on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 2:15 pm 

    Beautiful. I know she’s smiling down on you.


    thanks misi.

  6. matt on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 3:06 pm 

    i echo the ladies above.

    thanks.

  7. Heather Bixler on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 3:23 pm 

    That is beautiful. Wow, it made me cry.

    Awe.

  8. Mark A on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 3:30 pm 

    That’s great that you would honor your mother through the written word. I’m certain that she is very proud of you.

    Thanks Mark, I hope so.

  9. pinks & blues girls on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 3:54 pm 

    This is so beautiful and so heartbreaking at the same time. I am so sorry you lost your mother at such a young age, and she wasn’t able to see you grow into the wonderful mother and wife you are today. I am sure that she watches over you and your family and is so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.

    Jane, P&B Girls


    Thank you Jane that is very sweet.

  10. maya on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 4:36 pm 

    Who you are today is because of her. What a wonderful reminder of her daily.

    That was truly beautiful.

    Thanks Maya that is so sweet.

  11. Christy on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 6:22 pm 

    I loved your post. I lost my mom to cancer four years ago and I agree with what you said. I hope my three kids have as many wonderful things to say about me someday as I have to say about my mom.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It is such a hard thing to lose mom.

  12. Amber(Homeschooldiva) on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 10:23 pm 

    I am sorry of your loss. How hard to have your babies without your mama there. Lets pray we do half as good of jobs as our moms did.
    This was BEAUTIFUL!

    Thank you and yes, I would be very proud to do as good as my mother did.

  13. t.y. on Tue, 24th Jul 2007 10:37 pm 

    what a lovely and heartfelt tribute to your mom. and now that you yourself are the busy mom of two little ones, i imagine that you appreciate her influence and love in a new and special way.

    …here for a season, then above. :)

    thank you for sharing this, mz. touching to hear a little word from your heart and a good reminder for me, both as a daughter and mother.

    xoxo


    Thanks Tami, Sweet words.

  14. John Kaiser on Wed, 25th Jul 2007 9:56 am 

    My parents divorced when I was about one year old. From then on it wasn’t much fun going back and forth between houses. My parents did their best, but their bitterness really didn’t help the situation. I don’t have many “thank yous” for them, except to thank them for showing me how not to do things.

    They got much better as I got older. But still, the fact I moved out at 17 to start my own life illustrates my frustration.

    I’m sorry John. Divorce is heart wrenching.

  15. southerngirlmusings on Wed, 25th Jul 2007 1:48 pm 

    This was beautiful and thanks for being so transparent.

    thank you. I’m glad you liked it.

  16. momlovesbeingathome on Wed, 25th Jul 2007 4:55 pm 

    Okay, I’ve got to go hunt down a box of kleenex now!!! Seriously. WOW, MZ! That was amazing. Thanks for sharing that.

    oh I didn’t mean to make you cry! but I’m glad that it moved you.

  17. Jordan (MamaBlogga) on Wed, 25th Jul 2007 8:19 pm 

    Thank so much for this entry, MZ. It’s amazing how much more important it seems to express our appreciation when suddenly we can’t anymore.

    Thank you for participating!


    Yes, We should live life expressing it constantly.

  18. Michelle on Wed, 25th Jul 2007 9:20 pm 

    Hi Liz. What a great post. I love that your heart really shows through here.

    On another note, I set up my blog. I think I did it right..LOL. But now I am looking around for a different layout. Any suggestions?

    Have a blessed night.

    Did I answer you via email on this yet? I can’t remember.

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  20. meridith on Wed, 25th Jul 2007 10:23 pm 

    my eyes have tears in them. i wish so much i could have known the woman who brought my best friend into the world and taught her to the be the beautiful woman she is today. i know she is so proud of you.

    Thanks Mer, That is really sweet.

  21. Lynnae (From Under the Clutter) on Wed, 25th Jul 2007 11:15 pm 

    What a beautiful post! You have me in tears! Your mom sounds like she was an incredibly wise woman. Thank you for sharing.


    She was incredible. Thank you.

  22. Laura on Thu, 26th Jul 2007 8:22 am 

    This is beautiful!

    I find the same comfort in knowing that I will see my Mom again.

    Yes, ther eis something great in that.

  23. Anne MArie on Fri, 27th Jul 2007 12:30 am 

    Beautiful…just like you:). I am sure your mother would be so incredibly proud of you to see you today…

    Thanks Anne, You are one of the few people that reads my blog that actually knew her.

  24. summershine on Fri, 27th Jul 2007 8:35 am 

    Thanks for sharing this!


    Thank you for coming by.

  25. wytammic on Sat, 28th Jul 2007 11:17 pm 

    Oh Elizabeth, your words are amazing. Tieki read this post the other night in Dodge and was teary eyed. She told me you had a tear jerker posted. I now understand what she meant as I am catching up on my reading.

    I do love the hope we have in Jesus. It will be so wonderful to see our loved ones again.

  26. Christine on Sun, 29th Jul 2007 12:17 am 

    My eyes started tearing up reading your very touching post. Your mom is watching over you and your family, and I’m sure she is very proud of you.

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  32. Next Stop Lauderdale on Mon, 30th Jul 2007 9:00 pm 

    Liz………..this week with Gayle really brings back those memories of 13 years ago. You mom had more wisdom than any of the rest of us…….dad

  33. yielded on Mon, 30th Jul 2007 10:49 pm 

    MZ, I am touched. Thank you for sharing.

    You are truly blessed that you have all those memories of your mom. I didn’t have that. (Mine died when I was a baby.) I could only imagine.

    I do understand that you have that place in your heart that will always ache… Wow. I feel closer to you after reading this. (Though we don’t really know each other!)

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