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Love. The Apostle Paul already wrote on Love in the Bible better than I possibly ever could. It sums up the entire concept. In his words, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Love is patient with my children when they aren’t responding fast enough.

Love is kind even when I’m in a bad mood.

Love does not envy. Envy is a destroyer of friendship. I have seen it happen. I commit to not envying my friends but rather be happy for their good things.

Love does not boast. Applying this is a little more tricky for me. I suppose it means I view accomplishments humbly and do not boast about them.

Love is not proud. Pride is all about oneself. Pride is selfish. Pride is the root of all sin because it says, “I can be like God.” Pride definitely destroys relationships. Not being proud means saying I’m sorry when I wrong my husband or kids.

Love does not dishonor others. That means love honors others. Not repeating things people are ashamed of. (Especially your husband!) Sometimes honoring someone and possibly their wishes means doing something you don’t want to do. There are so many ways to honor others.

Love is not self-seeking. The flip-side on this one is it is other-seeking. Not thinking what I can do for myself in a relationship but what I can do for others. This means when I’m with a group of girlfriends and can’t get a word in, that I love that I can sit there and listen to them. I don’t have to butt in the conversation.

Love is not easily angered. For me, this really comes back to my children and husband and being patient. Giving the benefit of the doubt to those I love most. The people you know most seem to be the easiest to not give slack to for some reason.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. This means not bringing up something my husband may have done years ago. Letting it go, forgiving.

Love does not delight in evil. For me this would be gossip. Not being anxious to talk about someone. In a sermon my brother once preached he called gossip the “devil’s intimacy”. If I find I have a relationship that seems based on talking about someone else I realize that we don’t have a true bond. It is interesting to see what happens to those relationships when you determine not to do that anymore. Is anything left?

Love rejoices with the truth. This is speaking truth at all times to those I love. When they are hurt or depressed speaking truth into their life can be a fresh breath. Obviously this applies at home too!

Love always protects. This means when I love someone, even when they are doing something wrong, protecting them by not telling others about it. I know that this will come in handy with my children when they are teenagers. Not that there isn’t a time to share with someone close and prayer, but not to just air it out in your general atmosphere. I have been unprotective before and it is a bad feeling left in your mouth when you realize what you have done has hurt someone.

Love always trusts. This can be a hard one. Especially when we know their are legitimate reasons not to. I feel blessed to have a husband who I am not suspicious of, but the fact is not everyone is in that positions… so I’m not sure how to apply this one.

Love always hopes. Hope sees the bright side and believes it can be. Having hope in love doesn’t say… “things will always be like this, I can’t take it!” but hoping and praying always for more.

Love always perseveres. This means also that we don’t give up. Even when things are so tough. It’s that “sickness and in health, richer or poorer” part of the marriage vows. Persevere through good and bad.

And lastly, LOVE NEVER FAILS.

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Written for Skribbit’s February Write Away Contest.

More on my facebook…..

Guess what?

I’m on vacation.

Yes, I’m blogging from vacation. I am however proud of my husband and I that we have remained off the internet all day long. Now we are “winding” down.

Tomorrow, (by the time you read this) our 5th anniversary is here. To celebrate we decided to take of to Grand Cayman (a place I love.) My In-laws are with the the boys and from what I hear things are going wonderful. It broke my heart to miss my sons first ever field trip, but Jeff and I so needed this rest away.

We woke up this morning excited as could be to take our incredible deal of a trip (we used points for airfare and room!). Our uneventful flights were nice, aside from the pilot not telling us when we were over Cuba as I expected. We were a bit late on the first one so it appears our bags did not make it. Fun, Fun! We did finally get them… tonight, after taking long walks to grocery stores and a nasty outlet to try and scrounge things up.

This outlet smelled, badly. That hideous dead people smell. Yes, I do know that smell, and this place smelled like that. There is just something about sweatshop made clothes that didn’t even make the cut to the cheap stores. I felt heavy with guilt looking for underwear there. Not to mention my only choices were granny panties, or something less than non-existent with phrases like “HEY!” written on the front with sequins. Thank God our luggage made it.

JJ and I swam for awhile in the ocean. If you have never been here you have to know that this is some of the prettiest water and beach in the world. Scuba divers and snorkelers come from all over to explore these waters. Even in the shallow water fish would just surround us. Now fish kind of freak me out, but JJ loves wild life and that made it so worth it. I actually found myself enjoying it.

Tomorrow we go on a tour out on wave runners and will go out to 2 famous reefs to snorkel. Another day we will be snorkeling at stingray city!

Obviously, all things considered, I will be online very little. It even appears I am not getting much email. So if you hear no direct response from comments or emails give me some grace for a few days

God bless!

Yes, We did it. JJ and I. We actually went on a real date. The kids stayed with his parents and we did a nice dinner on an outside patio and went to a concert where JJ had no working obligations. There were no birthdays or anniversaries involved (unless that you count it was a father’s day gift- shoot!).

I wish we could have taken great pictures, but cameras were forbidden. Being that I am a rule-follower (yes, one of those nerds) and I didn’t want my nice new camera taken from me, I had to stow it in the car. So we have one lonely little cell phone picture as a memento of this special occasion.

We saw The Fray opened up by OK GO! (the dancing tread-mill guys) and MAE. We loved it.

We must be getting older. The concert crowds must be getting younger. I swear 12 year olds were holding beers. They were 21? No way. Except I know they were pretty strict with ID’s at this venue. Oh well despite our age youth. We had an excellent time.

Finances are the #1 cause for divorce.

Money is the root of evil

EDIT: The LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Rightly corrected by Karen! Thank You! Amazing how one word omission can change something so much.

Most marital fights are about finances.

Being that most of my commenters (I would say readers but I have many more readers than commenters so I don’t know who you all are!) are in a marriage and/or have families I thought it would be good to point you to a brand new blog with it’s focus on finances for family. It is authored by a Christian and the things I have read so far are sound, encouraging, and wise. Please Check out the FINANCING YOUR FAMILY blog.

Because of the importance of this issue and the relevance to my intended readership I will be adding this to my ‘useful links’ menu as opposed to my blog roll.

Enjoy
-Mommy Zabs

Jordan over at Mama Blogga Is holding a group writing project and this time I wanted to jump in! The theme is “3 things I want my kids too…” and you can fill in the rest of the idea. If you are interested in joining check out this link for full details.

On to my post for the project.
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3 Things I Pray my Boys Will Find in a Bride.

Choosing a mate. Wow.

Because I’m a mother of a pre-schooler and a toddler the idea of them choosing a mate some day is a difficult thing to imagine! I barely allow them being away from me for more than a few hours! Despite that, I’m aware that some day my little birds will fly away and at some point probably marry (I hope!). I keep this forward thought in my mind as I pray for them.

It’s wild to imagine that the little girl may be out there somewhere already. That some mommy and daddy (I pray for her sake,) are raising her with love and leading her in a way that will make her a good wife and mother (again I hope!) some day.

I know I know, I am reflecting MY WANTS onto their choice already! I see every reason to have a goal and pray blessings on their life. I hope that when that time comes around I am able to be as wonderful and gracious as my own mother-in-law is to me.

If I could outline the things I pray for most regularly regarding their wives it would be these:

1. That she would love Jesus and see her life as a process in which she is shaped in molded more into His likeness. Let’s face it, no one is perfect! But to Love Jesus first above all else will cause all things naturally, over time, to fall into place. That in all things she would be teachable. That she would never feel like she has “arrived” but will always have a perspective that desires to grow while maintaining thankfulness for where she is at.

2. I pray that she would never see divorce as an option and understand the seriousness of her vows made on her wedding day. I pray that her love for my son would be there on both the good days and the bad ones. The days he is being crappy and the days he is her prince. That she would demonstrate her love by thinking about his needs and desiring to meet them.

3. I pray that she would be his best friend. That he will have shared more laughs with her than anyone else. That she would be able to grow and dream with him. That they could share everything, run to each other in excitement with accomplishments, and cry together with defeats. I pray that their friendship would challenge and sharpen each other.

It’s good to have an opportunity to consider these things. I pray we are able to raise boys that have these same values deep within their being.

What do you pray or hope for your own children?

Have you ever been convicted for a few seconds about something and quickly pushed it away and continued what you were doing?

I have.

In fact God (in his infinite mercy!) bought one instance back to my mind quite clearly during church last Sunday. We are in a series called ‘God at War’ and the sermon on Sunday was about the topic of Temptation.

I was listening to Rich’s points and at some point he was on a tangent about anything we have exalted above God, things that have a hold on us. As I listened, like a flash in my mind’s eye, I could see myself. I was newly married, having quiet time. I don’t remember the verse or devotional I was reading, but it convicted me of loving my husband more than God, or in other words placing him in a place above God.

As quick as the thought came, I made an excuse.

We do that don’t we?

I told myself, (or rather, God,) that it was understandable. That it’s just too hard to not love your husband that much. That I can taste, hear, smell, feel him every day. It’s hard to beat that when God is intangible. I made an excuse because I thought the command to have no other God’s before him was too hard. It’s in the 10 commandments! What was I thinking?

Here we are a few years later.

I often find myself SO sensitive to every word JJ says to me. He has a larger than life ability to build me up or tear me down. An ability I put in his hands without him even wanting it.

Lately, I have been feeling the sting of this sin. Jeff’s a guy so there are times he says thing out of pure fact that hurt me with no intentions of doing that in any way. But with him being tired, traveling, and over-worked, this has been happening a lot. So you can imagine how much I have gotten hurt. It’s like I’m standing their holding my chest wide open with a big wounded vulnerable heart toward him.

Let me be clear. What I am NOT saying is that you shouldn’t be vulnerable to your husband, or that his words of encouragement or exhortation should not mean anything to you. Your mate is the most important earthly relationship you have, and as a result those things will mean a lot.

What I am also NOT saying is that husbands don’t have a responsibility to temper their words remembering that considering their wives and their sensitivity. Husbands (should) have a God-given desire to protect their wives and should be attentive to the fact that they communicate differently and learn how to work with that.

Where I went wrong? I had more vulnerability to JJ than to God. I cared more about what JJ thought than what God thought. I placed Jeff in my heart that only God should occupy. What person can live up to that?

An even stranger thing… Owen has an incredibly passionate Sunday School teacher. The way he runs that class it is obvious that he knows the importance of the vast responsibility involved when teaching our children. As I dropped Owen off last week he looked me straight in the eye and told me, “you get prayer after church. Parents need prayer.” I don’t think he realized that he was giving me permission in an area that always holds me back getting prayer after church. I normally worry about getting my kids in time. It was like he knew. Call it coincidence or God, it was pretty cool.

When our pastor had an alter call for people that want to repent of something or get prayer for an area of temptation… I went forward (much to my husbands surprise!). A lady I have never met prayed with me. And I felt so much release in the prayer. Later that night, I apologized to JJ.

The priorities and order in my life did not miraculously change, but a process was started that afternoon. I gave God permission to show me what the proper relationship should look like. I authorized him to change my heart and instill the proper order.

It’s good to find release in those areas you have been holding back from God. To have God give you another chance to put things in order. God doesn’t force these things on us. He gently comes in and reminds us. His kindness leads to our repentance. He doesn’t want a bunch of legalistic robots following him. He wants our hearts of our own free-will. He won’t take it, but he deserves it. And our hearts pour out back to him out of our thankfulness to him for calling us his children. Pretty amazing!

We finally uploaded a video taken of Owen between the wedding he was in and the reception we were on our way too. He never stops making us laugh.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMAtILR3yqo]

Owen did great in the wedding this weekend. I don’t know that I have ever seen anyone move down the isle as slow as he did. I did wonder at times if he was going to make it- but he did. very. slowly. When he got to the end and Jeff met him to help him get to our pew he collapsed into his daddy’s arms and wimpered. It was like all the pressure of having everyones eyes on him scared him so much that by the time he got to his daddy he knew he could let down his guard. JJ asked him if he wanted to “go sit with daddy and mommy”. He said yes and cried, just for a second. Bless his heart. I was so dang cute though.

He didn’t like his flower very much, I re-pinned it 6 times. I am amazed it even made it!

I really wanted to play with these in photoshop a bit, but my impatience to post them won out. It would have been nice to at least eliminate my wrinkes, if not to play with filters on the pictures. Why can’t we just photshop our faces in real life?

I have never seen Owen bust out his shell in public the way he did at the reception. If only I had video of all the dance moves he came up with. He loved imitating his older cousins in all their craziness. As a mom, watching him free to just have fun and be himself no matter how goofy that was, made me so happy.

By the way- my cousin Leah who got married looked beautiful. Everything from the rehersal dinner to the end of the reception was perfect. My aunt and cousin worked so hard on this wedding and I can’t imagine it going better!

Video Interview with Owen on the way to the reception coming up… I have to wait on JJ to get it off the camera for me.

4 years and counting.

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