Hotel to Heaven

On way back from hilton head vacation this week.

Me: Wow look at this fog. this bridge looks like it’s going up into heaven. Look Owen we are driving to heaven!

Owen: I don’t want to go to heaven.

Me: (gasp) What? Why not?

Owen: I want to go to the Hotelllllllllllll! (trailing whine)

Me: Oh honey, heaven is much nicer than the hotel.

Funny, a 3-year-olds perspective. Maybe it is light-shedding. Remember being younger, (some of you,) and thinking, “I don’t want to go to heaven until after I get married and have kids…” Or “I want to be a (fill in the blank) before I go to heaven.”

God has to be up in heaven hearing that and giggling at what we think would be a “must reach destination” before heaven.

Where Have All My Brain Cells Gone?

I know I have not been blogging, yada, yada, yada…

For a blog writing addict like me that says a lot. Truthfully? I have had no content folks. This sweet baby inside me has robbed me of all my creativity and anything slightly resembling a deep thought. I go to bed with the boys do, I wake up when they do, I nap when they do. And that makes up my day.

I do have a couple confessions of brainless mishaps I have done lately. If I don’t confess them my husband threatens to start a blog and do it for me. Of course he would never really do that because he is a self-reputed “not the blogging type” kind of guy.

Anyway, for starters. Read more

Must Haves for Morning (all-day) Sickness!

You may have noticed I have not blogged with my usual consistency. Morning (all day) sickness has robbed me of my blog juju.

Since I have been spending a lot of time lately with my head down toward the toilet I thought I would share some “must-haves” to help you get through the dreaded morning sickness! Read more

Owen’s First Real Performance.

 

 

Last Thursday Owen had what they call at his preschool, a “book parade”. His book was on Noah’s Ark so his whole class had to dress up like animals. They paraded around in a circle and up on to the stage and sang their song. His was that one we learned in Sunday School when we were little, you know…

The Lord…. Told Noah…. To build him and arky arky…

I absolutely could not wait for that precious frog to get on stage so I could revel in his first ever school song performance! He walked up with his class, lined up… and then slight pushing battles began. He and a few of the other boys were all rallying for a front row spot. In the end the assistant had to pull one of the boys (a cow) backward back into line and this pushed Owen behind the line.

Yes, folks…. My little guy… the one I adored… I could not see. I’m told he was just looking around anyway. But I MISSED IT! A first. To make it worse. This week I am missing the first field trip. This also does not seem to be a big deal to the other mothers… but it is killing me. I guess I will have other opportunities to be a “room mom”. Right?

Little Green Dress

Gosh I hated that dress. At 8 years old I had such a blown out of proportion sense of empathy that I my hatred of it made it my “favorite” dress I wore it in family pictures, on Sundays, and to school. Every time I wore it I resented it! Crazy huh?

Even crazier? I remember lying in bed and staring at that dress hanging in my closet and giving it the evil eye. Then quickly, full of remorse I apologized to the dress and told it I really meant I loved it.

What?

This one has been a mystery for years. It has stuck with me and haunted me. What kind of 8 year old thinks their dress has feelings? I though this time was as good as any to process this information and actually found a conclusion.

Read more

Chuck E Cheese’s Is Not For Toddlers.

My Bible Study thought that this would be a great night to take our families to Chuck E Cheese’s. BOY! What a different experience as a parent than a child! JJ and I pretty much vowed to never set foot in Chuck E Cheese’s again until both children are in Kindergarten.

Owen loved it and for the most part stayed manageable. He and his dad played a lot of games and his only melt down came upon departure.

Lukas. Oh wow. Lukas loved it. The independent child with a bionic will. His determination gives him has the strength of 10 grown men. He would not eat. He would walk away and not turn back once. This experience probably ranks among his worst behavior. Needless to say, I’m glad it is well past bed-time. Please Note, that in the picture above you are not witnessing a sleeping child, but rather, a child in rapid motion trying to get away.

Chuck E Cheese’s is not for Toddlers

Cute Things Kids Say

Owen had some classics today! I thank God for the joy his often surprising words offer me!

I picked him up from preschool and he was so happy that he had cupcakes today. “3″ he told me.

Me: What color were they? Where they Chocolate or Vanilla?

Owen: Chocolate. With Pink. There was pink in them. They were so good Mommy, So REFRESHING!

Refreshing? Where did he get that. So funny.

…………………………………………………………..

At Lunch we discussed what we were doing for the rest of the day.

Owen: Oh Yeah, I getta play soccer practice tonight!

Me: You love that don’t you.

Owen: Yeh.

Me: You know, when you are at practice you need to learn to listen to coach better. That is even more important than playing good.

Owen: Yeah mom, that is berry hard, berry berry hard.

Me: I know honey, but you need to listen to coach. (he really struggles with this.)

Owen: Yeh It’s berry hard. But I will try mom. I will try.

What a cutie.

Heady Haircolor

While I was tucking Owen in my hair fell in his face and his sweet short fingers brushed through it.

Me:“do you like mommy’s hair?”

Owen: “Yes.  I have hair too.”

Me: “Yes you do.  Do you know what color it is?”

Owen: “Brown. Yours is brown too.”

Me: “Yes it is, I have brown hair and you have brown hair.  What color is Lukie’s hair?”

Owen: (thinks for a bit) “Ummm.  I don’t know?”

Me: “Lukie’s hair is yellow.  We call hair that color blonde.”

Owen: “Yes, blonde hair.”

Me: “What color is daddy’s hair?” (trick question)

Owen: (thinks, laughs) “Daddy doesn’t have hair.  His hair color is head.”

I just can’t stop laughing at that one.  I had to post it so it would be stuck in my memory forever.  The sad part- I had another hilarious conversation with him earlier, and I have already forgotten what it was.  I really hope to remember.

My Lying Little Lion

Owen told his very first lie (that I know of). And it was so wrong,

but also so cute… isn’t that horrible?

He has this obsession with ice. On many occasions his daddy has bribed him to sing “Ice Ice baby” for a piece. I, on the other hand, do not participate in the giving of ice due to my lack of ability to bite the ice, making it small enough for him.

The other day he started crying for me to give him ice out of my glass. I nicely explained to him that mommy couldn’t do that and it was something special for him and daddy to do. He asked persistently as 2-year-olds do. When he pleading did not work… he looked at me, grabbed his forehead and said

BOO-BOO! Ice please, BOO BOO!

What?

My kid LIED!

Isn’t he too small to lie?

Apparently not.

So I tackled it. I tried to explain that what he was doing was lying and that it was not right. Yeah, he had absolutely no clue what I was saying. Instead he kept ROARING! Every time I said “Owen you Lied” or “Owen you are Lying” HE ROARED!

I thought, maybe he was trying a distraction technique??? So I took him to his dad to explain that Owen has now learned to lie and he ROARED again!

Finally, we got it. He thought I was calling him a LION. Yes, he still has no clue what a LIE is and why it is wrong. But he can do it, and he thinks he is a lion instead of “lying”.

Too cute.

Originally Published on June 27, 2006.
Republished for Blog-Carnival at 4fabmoms.com

If you are a mom interested in submitting a humorous story about being a mom or something funny child has done click here.

You Do It.

Me (to Owen): Owen, I’m tired. I just want less screaming and more obeying.

Owen: Yeah mom…but you do it.

Me: What?

Owen: You do it. (said in a super encouraging voice)

………………..

What an observant child I have.

……………….

Edit: To clarify, I say often to Owen “You can do it” , And that was his way of saying that back when he sensed my discouragement.  As opposed to changing his behavior :)  I can make it through his bad behavior.  Funny.  This post did not translate well onto a post.  Would have made a better video!

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