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Love. The Apostle Paul already wrote on Love in the Bible better than I possibly ever could. It sums up the entire concept. In his words, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Love is patient with my children when they aren’t responding fast enough.

Love is kind even when I’m in a bad mood.

Love does not envy. Envy is a destroyer of friendship. I have seen it happen. I commit to not envying my friends but rather be happy for their good things.

Love does not boast. Applying this is a little more tricky for me. I suppose it means I view accomplishments humbly and do not boast about them.

Love is not proud. Pride is all about oneself. Pride is selfish. Pride is the root of all sin because it says, “I can be like God.” Pride definitely destroys relationships. Not being proud means saying I’m sorry when I wrong my husband or kids.

Love does not dishonor others. That means love honors others. Not repeating things people are ashamed of. (Especially your husband!) Sometimes honoring someone and possibly their wishes means doing something you don’t want to do. There are so many ways to honor others.

Love is not self-seeking. The flip-side on this one is it is other-seeking. Not thinking what I can do for myself in a relationship but what I can do for others. This means when I’m with a group of girlfriends and can’t get a word in, that I love that I can sit there and listen to them. I don’t have to butt in the conversation.

Love is not easily angered. For me, this really comes back to my children and husband and being patient. Giving the benefit of the doubt to those I love most. The people you know most seem to be the easiest to not give slack to for some reason.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. This means not bringing up something my husband may have done years ago. Letting it go, forgiving.

Love does not delight in evil. For me this would be gossip. Not being anxious to talk about someone. In a sermon my brother once preached he called gossip the “devil’s intimacy”. If I find I have a relationship that seems based on talking about someone else I realize that we don’t have a true bond. It is interesting to see what happens to those relationships when you determine not to do that anymore. Is anything left?

Love rejoices with the truth. This is speaking truth at all times to those I love. When they are hurt or depressed speaking truth into their life can be a fresh breath. Obviously this applies at home too!

Love always protects. This means when I love someone, even when they are doing something wrong, protecting them by not telling others about it. I know that this will come in handy with my children when they are teenagers. Not that there isn’t a time to share with someone close and prayer, but not to just air it out in your general atmosphere. I have been unprotective before and it is a bad feeling left in your mouth when you realize what you have done has hurt someone.

Love always trusts. This can be a hard one. Especially when we know their are legitimate reasons not to. I feel blessed to have a husband who I am not suspicious of, but the fact is not everyone is in that positions… so I’m not sure how to apply this one.

Love always hopes. Hope sees the bright side and believes it can be. Having hope in love doesn’t say… “things will always be like this, I can’t take it!” but hoping and praying always for more.

Love always perseveres. This means also that we don’t give up. Even when things are so tough. It’s that “sickness and in health, richer or poorer” part of the marriage vows. Persevere through good and bad.

And lastly, LOVE NEVER FAILS.

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Written for Skribbit’s February Write Away Contest.

If I could go back and change any year of my life and any of the things over which I had control, it would be that first year at Taylor University. It started out okay, but somewhere along the line, I lost my mind. Everything in my life, except some of my good friends, felt completely unstable.
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I finally, really DID IT with the help of my incredibly creative friend ANNE-MARIE! This weekend we launched our Christmas card company… CARDMYCHRISTMAS.COM. If this goes well their are plans for expansion into other card categories and relevant domains. So PLEASE purchase these cutie card through us! Hope you love them and tell all your friends.

These are the girls. The girls I have known most of my life. The girls who love me unconditionally as I do them. They challenge me constantly and love deeply at the same time. Our kids play together. They are like family to me. The 2 on the left are sisters. They really are. Not by blood, but I can not imagine being closer.

On the far Right there is Lara. She’s had that sweet baby now, her 3rd. A girl after 3 boys. She is an AMAZING photographer. Her and her husband live in a character FULL 100 year old re-done house. They are the best photographers in the region (they took those family pictures of us last yera). They started a ministry called Thirst. They entrepeneured software called Action Runner, for photographers. But that those facts aren’t even the most amazing things about her. She has DEEP character. She loves Jesus. She can always make us smile. She is consistant and steadfast. She has a deep understanding of God’s Word. She is a rock in this stormy world.

Next from the left we have Anne Marie (who reads here!- Hi Anne). Anne is full of surprises. She is the girl that seemed to turn into a designer over night when know one was looking. She never cared much for shopping and clothing like we all did, yet she has this incredible eye for aesthetics. She is deep and spiritual and always wanting God’s beset for her life. She married the guy she dated since 8th grade and they are still madly in love. I can’t even tell you how many times she laughed so hard when we were all out that she peed her pants. All growing up. She has such a huge heart for people. When someone hurts, she hurts. She is such a true true woman of God.

Then there is me.

Then Brynne, aka supermodel. Though she would be the last to say that. Brynne is so capeable even when she doesn’ know it. She is the type of girl that sees a dog on the side of the road with it’s owner and will drive all around town in the middle of the night with the strangers to find a dog hospital that is open, and then drive the girl home, and keep checking up on them. She feels passionately. She pours her life into her children. She is a girl with deep convictions and really finds herself upset when people don’t feel the same way. But not out of anger or bitterness… but because she cares so deeply. She is so much fun and probably the most athletic girl I’m friends with. I have amazing memories of kickboxing with her every tuesday and thursday in college. The girl is ripped!

Then Alicia. I could fill pages. What part do I tell? When I go through my old storage trunks as I did recently, I find note after note from middle school on from her. All of them are telling me she loves me. All of them are giving me verses from the Bible to encourage me. All of them are telling me she is praying for me. It seems she was always there in the hard times. She always cared and always had words to help pull me through. She was never and is never short on reminding me that we are not with out hope. Her life is a living example of the miricles God can work. She sees me, the real me, the raw me, at all times. There are no facades in front of her, not even the involuntary ones. No walls. Even with her 3 children she would drop anything to help anyone of us. She is also the best deorater I have ever known. She makes martha stewart look like a rookie. She could have invented Shabby Chic for all I know. She “has it” and always had. She got straight A’s with out trying, can sing her heart out, and was homecoming queen, yet never acted like it. She also married her middle school boyfriend.

Then Jordan on the far right left. Also a sister. Also one that knows me inside out. Her and leesh are Jonathan and David type friendships. Jordan and her family took me in at some of my lowest moments. They gave me a place to stay. They loved on me and treated me as their own. Even into giving me the same HS graduation present as Jordan! Jordan is amazing at everything she does. Again, another friend that doesn’t quite realize just how special they are. We can laugh till our bellies hurt and weep till our tear ducts are dry. We pray together, we believe in each other. I’m so thankful she only lives a mile away. We went away to our first year of college together. She was the “hottest girl on campus” that was also shy. I was one of them most outgoing girls on campus, that also forgot to go to class. We made a great team. She helped me get it together and stop being such a flake, and I helped her make friends. We are going away to see friends together this weekend. With her it is always a great time.

God has been good to me.

There have been friendships that meant the world to me that i have lost for one reason or another. There have been relationships I have had to give up because no matter how much I love the person, they have turned out to be toxic to me.

I could focus on those lost loves and all the pain that came and still comes from them. Or I could focus on these girls and the few others God has given me that bless my life continually. I hope I continue to choose the latter. I am blessed. Thank you girls (even if you don’t get this blogging thing And thank you Jesus.

Sin Sucks. Sin destroys. Many people that choose to live in sin, especially the “Christian” convince themselves that what they do is their “right” that no one has a “right” to interfere in what they are doing. They do not recognize their sin hurts other people. They exist in the arena of self, shutting themselves off to the fact their sin hurts those they care most about.

Often an alcoholic or addict lives under the illusion that no one has the right to confront them. The sinner tells people to back off, mind their own business. Many alcoholics find themselves facing an “intervention” confronted by the group of people that love them most. Each of those loved ones takes a turn sharing the pain he or she caused in their life, in attempt to wake the addict up.

Love desires to show the one living in sin the painful reality of what they are doing. Counterfeit love enables. Love does not tell the one walking in sin what they want to hear “for the sake of the friendship”, or to “make them feel better”. Loving someone does not manifest in shielding them from feeling the pain and guilt caused by their actions.

Are we willing to be disowned by those we love most because we refuse to speak nothing but truth? When someone we love ties him or herself to a freight train that is headed full-speed toward a brick wall will we choose to tell them? Or will we tell them “it’s alright” because they chose it? In their enjoyment of the ride they don’t see the dire consequences ready to befall them; the impending destruction that sin inevitably causes.

This is one of my favorite passages (once again,) From My Utmost for His Highest- Oswald Chambers.

Not being reconciled to the fact of sin— not recognizing it and refusing to deal with it— produces all the disasters in life. You may talk about the lofty virtues of human nature, but there is something in human nature that will mockingly laugh in the face of every principle you have. If you refuse to agree with the fact that there is wickedness and selfishness, something downright hateful and wrong, in human beings, when it attacks your life, instead of reconciling yourself to it, you will compromise with it and say that it is of no use to battle against it.

Have you taken this “hour, and the power of darkness” into account, or do you have a view of yourself which includes no recognition of sin whatsoever? In your human relationships and friendships, have you reconciled yourself to the fact of sin? If not, just around the next corner you will find yourself trapped and you will compromise with it. But if you will reconcile yourself to the fact of sin, you will realize the danger immediately and say, “Yes, I see what this sin would mean.”

The recognition of sin does not destroy the basis of friendship— it simply establishes a mutual respect for the fact that the basis of sinful life is disastrous. Always beware of any assessment of life which does not recognize the fact that there is sin.

Jesus Christ never trusted human nature, yet He was never cynical nor suspicious, because He had absolute trust in what He could do for human nature. The pure man or woman is the one who is shielded from harm, not the innocent person.

The so-called innocent man or woman is never safe. Men and women have no business trying to be innocent; God demands that they be pure and virtuous. Innocence is the characteristic of a child. Any person is deserving of blame if he is unwilling to reconcile himself to the fact of sin.

When we stand by and idly watch those friends head down that path, we are doing no good. We fail those we love. In the end we have no power over their choice, but we can have the peace that we did all we could. That we spoke truth. That we prayed. That we did not stand by and just watch it happen, not saying a word.

In confronting sin in the ones we love, we must always keep in mind that we are all vulnerable to sin. If we ever think ourselves not capable of choosing a path of sin we fool ourselves. If we surround ourselves by things apart from obedience to God and think we will not give into them, we underestimate the power and allure of sin.

NOTE:  The kind of sin I am referring to in this post is a lifestyle of repetitive, harmful sin committed by a person who calls himself a Christian. Those who have “given themselves over to sin”. One who continues in sin knowingly.

• 1 John 1:5-7 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
• 1 John 3:4-6 Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.
• 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 [Paul is referring to his earlier letter to the Corinthians that rebuked some of the people that were living in sexual sin.] Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

No I’m not conceited. I received this award from blog designer extraordinare Heather Bixler. She also nominated one of my favorites Little Cooks in the Kitchen, who nominated a couple of my other favorites, Mom Loves Being at Home, and The Three Olivos.

I read more blogs than I would like to admit. The number grows weekly. In fact, I have been busy enjoying the weekend and am already behind 100+ posts. This means I will be doing a whole lot of speed reading and very little commenting. I have much I already want to post on and will try to write those today and tomorrow to post throughout the week (I will be on vacation!).

Okay, back to awarding girl bloggers. With the vast amount of excellent blogs I read I have to choose 5 women. I’m trying to remember who all I have already tipped hats to in effort to not repeat myself, I’m disqualifying ones that have already received this award, and I won’t pick blogs I love that don’t post enough (even if I love you, sorry guys)…

5 Rockin Girl Bloggers:
1. Heidi Jo What Do You Know? Apparently, a lot. She posts daily and never fails to make me laugh. She has 4 beautiful children and a great perspective on life. She doesn’t take her self too seriously and you can read it in all her writing. She inspires me to be more light-hearted than I am.

2. Mama Blogga-- She not only provides fun group projects and great writing, but she also is incredibly helpful in the blog world! She has loads of advise on everything from search engine optimizations (SEO) to plugins and code. I appreciate her greatly!

3. Centering the Clay- New to my blog radar Monica Tutak has great perspective. I have enjoyed reading her musings on Life and culture. I know she is yet another one of those people I would love to grab some coffee with if we weren’t 3000 miles apart!

4. Journal of a Nomad- The author of this blog has far from a boring life! And she photo journals it along the way so I get to enjoy it too! Her pictures are wonderful and she always has a thought-provoking quote to go with them. Her life is an incredible adventure.

5. Home Hope & Future- This friend of mine is blogging on her process of adoption of a child from Liberia. She also has great things to say about the Christian Walk along the way. I know from experience that she practices what she preaches. Her heart is pure and sweet and she is the kind of person you feel welcomed by the moment you meet her.

OH YEAH I forgot to mention that if you won you are *supposed* to in turn award 5 other girl bloggers. However I realize your format may not allowed (eg. Journal of a Nomad).

My friend Kyle wrote a short 2 sentence post the other day asking the simple question, “where do you get your ideas?”

Something that never ceases to amaze me about life is how, when you are paying attention, it constantly teaches you about yourself, God, and truth, and the interworking relationships there in.

I have had more time on the computer in the last few days then I typically prefer. Which says a lot considering I’m on more than most of my flesh and blood stay-at-home-mom friends!

In learning how to use a control panal for a website, work with databases and figure out programs I have been reminded of some fundamental truths. I want to write about the most significant one.

As Christians we talk about “running the race”, pursuing that “hope for which we were called”. We remember that we are to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling”. We are reminded that we “fall short” and need a “savior” as a “sacrafice” for our sins.

Take the Christianese and you get, We can’t get to heaven because we’re good. Despite how “great” we may think we are, there will always be areas that need improvement. Even if our life doesn’t domemstrate obvious sins, if we are honest, we can examine our hearts motives at times, and our thought lives and realize that there is sin somewhere… whether it was an envious thought, false pride, lust, etc.

The idea of living the rest of our lives ‘perfect’ is rather over-whelming (unless we are in denial!). To be in the presence of GOD! Can you imagine? One who is perfect, holy, completely without sin! His light quickly would reveal any darkness in our souls. In knowing this we accept by faith the only sacrafice appropriate for these sins, death. Death through a perfect, spotless sacrafice, Jesus. And we live by faith with him. We worship him and trust him. We give up things the world tells us we “need” because God’s word tells us those things are not good for us. We strive to live our lives according to God’s word believing that the one who created life best knows how to live it. And what many don’t realize, is the joy and freedom it brings us. Knowing there is more. That there is hope. That life is getting better, not because circumstances around us, but because of the hope that continues to grow despite the hardest of circumstances. The hope that can not be swayed and can sometimes be hard to explain unless you have felt it.

That was a brief tangent I felt I needed to go on, because I realize that there are a lot of you who read that don’t speak “Christianize”, yet I fall into it often. Being raised in the evangelical church, this is my native tongue. Sometimes I need to step back and figure out how to re-phrase. Please email me or comment if you ever have no clue what I’m saying, but want to understand it.

Anyway, back to my past couple days on computers and what I have been reminded of.

I’m not perfect (duh). Far from it. And I have blindspots. We all do. Surprise! You have blindspots! Did you know that? Because of these blindsports we need some things. Like how on a car you need mirrors to help you see angles you would not otherwise see, we need community. We need friends and family that will be honest. That will tell us (in love) areas that are not so pretty or need a little grooming. Areas that hurt ourselves and others. And at worst, areas that could lead us (or others) to death.

Without these relationships, this community, we can sometimes fool ourselves that we have it all together. We can choose to ignore our internal sins and pretend our motives aren’t coming out in what we do. We can miss the fact that the lane we are merging into has a semi-truck in it.

That is one of the many reasons something like marriage is so amazing. Your spouse is well aware of your imperfections and (hopefully lovingly) help you work through them. And children! I know I have posted a couple times lately what little mirrors they can be here and here!

While I have been working on the computer, figuring out how to correctly install templates I have been plagued with error messeges. Some times I even had “fatal errors”. (WHAT? FATAL? What have I done?). I have thought, “YES I FINALLY GOT IT!”, only to pull of the page and have nothing appear. I have had to humble myself and go to friends and sometimes even strangers at forums and say, “HELP! What am I doing wrong? I entered that code, I swear I did it right, right?” Only for a mistake to be found and have to be fixed. Whether I misplaced a folder, didn’t have permissions set, or created a file incorrectly. There were times I misplaced code in the wrong part of a file, and times I had accidently deleted something I needed. Upon taking closer looks, over and over again, I found the mistakes I missed the first three times.

I’m not perfect. Sometimes I miss the obvious right in front of me. Sometimes someone around me will point out something I can’t believe I didn’t see earlier.

The great thing about discovering these mistakes, being humble and asking for help, is that you have an incredible opportunity to learn! Sometimes the lessons we learn when we are open to the fact we are imperfect are the ones that will teach us the most. They are the lessons that will stick with us. Even when those mistakes mean you are going to have to go back to the begninning and work really hard starting all over. Those can be life changing.

Through this process I have been on I’m thankful for those that helped me along the way, to see where I was going wrong, and where I could do better.

My gratitude can not run out for the people who out of love have helped me on this path, my journey. Those are friendships that can never be replaced.

I found this on my *desktop* and realized I never posted it! It is a short video of Owen getting his birthday present. I had his 2 little friends that live a mile away stop over that morning so he would have friends to play in it with. We have already enjoyed this gift several times!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Lz-iiHJhK4]

I’m back after my frist internet-free Friday. Surprisingly it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be! I kept busy with a playdate in the morning and lunch with my friends/ kids at McDonalds. We had good conversation about what we believe about God/ Chirst/ Salvation/ and things associated. I left it deep and thought and returned to lay my kids down for naptime. Because so much was going on in my head that I wanted to dig into scripture (the Bible) for… I did that when I would normally log in. I read, prayed, and read more. Called my brother to ask him a question. And prayed some more. It was really great.

I don’t say this at all to toot my self-righteous horn. TRUST ME I would be a hypocrite to do so. I’m just been really hungry lately. Hungry for that spiritual food. I want to dig deeper and deeper.

There are so many things that I haven’t shared here. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. But related to some of the many things I do not share here is that about 6 weeks ago I went on some medicine. Medicine to help me deal with living normal life. Medicine that it was difficult for me to cave into taking. You see, I have tried just about everything to avoid needing medicine. I had to be sure it was something I really needed that God was providing for me. And in all my trying, my eyes were opened, and I felt free to go that route.

God is so good. After 6 weeks I can tell you I’m in such a different place. I’m not perfect, I’m still climbing up hills, striving. But just getting up in the morning without an intense confused, over-whelmed, panic feeling is so freeing. I have longed LONGED to be in God’s word every morning because I really believe that there is something about starting you day that way. My times spent with God in his word have been spotty in the past, and NEVER in the morning… mornings are so hard.

After this medicine… I still wake up groggy. I don’t think I will ever be a “morning person”. But now I can get up. Get the boys food. Sit down with coffee, and spend time in the word with God without having a panic attack or feeling like I have completely failed becaus life didn’t go as I planned. I feel like I can focus.

Someday it would be such a God send to not need everything, and to really have a deeper understanding of God’s love and healing and more of an ability to trust him with everything that maybe I won’t need it. Maybe someday I “will get it” on a spiritual level enough that the chemicals are balanced out on my body. (I believe we are body-mind-spirit and that all these areas effect one another.) OR maybe I’ll never be healed of this and it will be a thorn in my flesh. Maybe I will need medicine my whole life. I don’t know. But it’s in God’s hands now. And I will rest in this fact. That He has me taken care of.

2 Corinthians 12:7b-10
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was giving a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly abou tmy weaknesses so that Christ’s power may reast on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

In all this I’m able to be in a place with God that is more focused and consistant than ever. How can that possibly be bad? (that’s for the critics). I’m seriuosly digging into a lot of areas of myself and asking God’s light of truth shine on them so that I can do what i need to do, surrender what I need to surrender, live how I’m suppose to live.

Funny, I hadn’t planned on writing about that. But I did, And I really think I should publish it for some reason.

I meant to talk about the picture above. And what a sweet time I had with my boys yesterday. How good Owen was at the park. How easily they went to nap time. Yesterday, was just so nice.

I’m also realizing I need to manage my blog time better. I came back to over 100 unread posts. I’m not even 1/2 way through and I need to go soon. I think I’m going to have to start putting my RSS feeds that I read in days of the week folders. That way I will have a certain amount I read everyday (except Friday!). Anyone else have time-saving blog advise?

Spring Spring Spring. How I love every dry minute of you! (aside from the allergies- why does there always have to be a downside?) We made it to the park yesterday! The boys got nice and messy and had so much fun. Mom had to work hard. JJ don’t get mad, my back is still okay I swear. Besides I had friends with me that were of great help. You should have seen how stylish I looked with a brace on over my trendy little top.

Last night I had the craziest dream. I hate waking up with those. It takes me a bit to snap out of it- always. I’m glad dreams aren’t true and that I was woken up by my sweet almost 3-year-old that I convinced to get right back in bed with me.

Today is one of those rainey and wormy days. I can’t stand the way it smells when you go outside. Looks like I will be running some errends!

Tell someone why you love them today. Telling someone you Love them is wonderful, but telling them why means even more.

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