Been A Bit

I have been gone awhile. Meridith noticed so I figured I better write something
Sometimes when there are a lot of things going on in my head and in my life I’m not the best at articulating. And I’m tired of writing blogs that don’t say much…. so I just took a break. But I will make an attempt here.

Finding a church has been a difficult season. However, I know God is most concerned about our hearts and how we handle the process. God is in today. We as humans tend to see the goal and be frustrated until we are there. So what is the deal? Are there just bad chruches in Orlando? Nope. There are many good ones. BUT I feel I have seen so much in the last 5 years. Too much? Maybe. I’m working on not being jaded but instead letting God heal me. I’m wrestling with questions. Just praying in the midst of it all God will just make is clear as to where we should go. Everyone has their own opinion of every church we try. So we try to hear through all that as well. Lots of noise it seems. Friends have well meaning intentions… but their opinions can cloud us. We are going back to one we really liked on Sunday. I really pray this is the end of the road as far as churching and we can put down roots. But I bring myself back to the point that God is concerned about us in the process. Are we trusting him? are we open to him? are we childlike in our faith? Are we distracted with other motives? Are we willing to journey with him in this? Are we letting past hurts geet in the way? Are we forgiving as these hurts are becoming apparent? (the we in the last couple would actually refer to me and not my constantly forgiving patient husband).

My Mom died 11 years ago this coming Thursday. A long time yes, yet at some moments the wounds are so unbelievably fresh. I struggle with wondering if it will always be this painful. I wonder if there are just areas that haven’t healed YET, or if this is just how it goes? I would like to talk to a professional or pastor more deeply about it. I just don’t know where to start in finding someone. Maybe that will be easier to find once we get a church. I know being a mother myself now, many of these wounds are so much more apparent to me. That makes sense I guess. I now have a mother relationship again, only this time I am the mother.

Owen is amazing. Crawling like it is a sprint! He’s working hard on walking. He can now clap and wave. He knows the signs for milk, more, and all done- though they aren’t always used at the right time, he mixes them up, it is so cute. He has a head shake he does that is like the no motion. He does it to say no, but also does it for fun. It is halarious. He gets us laughing so hard and laughs himself (to the point of snorting)!!! He says mom mom mom when he is upset or wants something. he is trying to say cat to the cats now. Says Cacacacaca. And then he has all sorts of other words. 4 teeth with a 5th starting to poke. They weren’t kidding when they said it goes so fast.

Apparel line for Relevant Launches March 15… I’m excited and nervous. We are almost done designing summer, and I always tend to be sick of stuff that is coming out because I have already moved on. So I’m bored to death with the spring line and it hasn’t even come out yet!!!

Our house should be done in the next 60 days, very excited for that.

Over all, I have been wrestling with so many things in my head. Sorting out my faith in many respects. Grieving at times. But by God’s grace for this moment I am somehow not depressed (which seems to be my go-to response for any sort of life stessor) I am not sure why there is so much grace for this particular season. But I am greatful for it. I Praise God for the Joy I have right now. I feel richly blessed. God is good.