2010

I am surprised I even remember how to log in to write on this blog.  Seriously my blog has been so far from my mind these days.  The only reason I don’t give it up is because there are more than 5 years of memories here.  I wish there was a way I could upload all my posts on my hard-drive.

Things have been good, no great, for the most part.  Not as in “perfect life” great… Life is far from perfect.  But in the “scheme of things” great.  How could I complain?  As I see lives of so many people in such great pain I can not help but sit back and be grateful and slap myself for any unthankfulness that lurks in my heart.  My heart is heavy a lot lately- but not for myself.  My compassion goes out to my friends that are divorced for the first time this Christmas/New Year, for those that have family members who have passed.  For those with sick family.  For those whose lives have experienced tragedy this year.  For those who feel hopeless at finding a job right now.  (have you seen Up in The Air yet?  Oh my heart aches for these people).  For those with children whose health is their heartache.  Okay- so I’m crying now… I oughtta stop writing such sad stuff.

But its reality right?  I really don’t know how I would survive with out Jesus.   People can call that a crutch, but I really don’t care. I’m like everyone else.  Hurt, broken, damaged, flawed… but with God he somehow in his miraculous way makes that all beautiful.

There is so much pain around and I’m like this total sponge absorbing emotions and pain of those around me (unless I’m on meds, which I’m not on right now…).  Don’t worry, I’m actually good.  Just being real.  This is one of those “hard” days.  Hard for no reason other than the pain on the earth- Ha.

I’m grateful.  I have a roof over my head that is not being threatened to be taken away.  I have a new house being built to better accommodate running businesses from home near my children.  I have 3 lovely beautiful healthy children.  Jeff and I have parents and family that love us.  We have each other- what a blessing.

I do hope 2010 is a better year, for all those hurting.  For those who have lost things or people this year.  I pray God will continue his grace on this nation.  We are blessed far beyond what we are deserving of.  I pray that in all things my family and I will look to God.  That we’ll seek his face whether joy or heartache face us this year.  That he will be that which completes us.

Its overwhelming to me sometimes– the fact that we have no idea what is coming.  My personality is to fret that.  I’m so glad I know that though I am not in control, something much greater is.  So cheers to whatever comes.  We’ll embrace you.  On with 2010