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The delightful LuLu tagged me for this MEME she made up herself Here goes…

Top 5 “Must Haves” for the moment

In my fridge:
1. Caffiene Free Diet Coke
2. Oceanspray Cran-Raspberry Juice
3. Chedder Cheese
4. Half and Half (for coffee)
5. Milk (for Owen)

In my closet:
1. Great Jeans in MANY sizes
2. Cute little tees.
3. COTTON COTTON COTTON! I live for natural fiber and wear almost nothing else. I can not stand synthetics for some reason.
4. Hoodies
5. TONS of tennis shoes: converse, saucony, puma, adidas, nike…..
BONUS- FLIP FLOPS AND SANDLES TONS!
(I heart COMFORT)

In my purse:
1. Size 2 and Size 6 Pampers (cruisers, and swaddlers)
2. Cell phone
3. Wallet
4. Toys, sippy cup, stickers and snacks for Owen
5. Fat Lip lip gloss.

In my car:
1. Navigation
2. DVD
3. CD Player (stocked full of kids cds)
4. Leather - nice and cleanable
5. Change (coins)

On my TiVo (if you dont have it make believe…)
1. Desparate Housewives
2. Greys Anatomy
3. 24
4. Boston Legal
5. Related

did I get it all?

The Amazing Husband just pulled up one of his Myspace pictures that proved to be his tattoo photo AS SEEN HERE.. Underneath it he writes “Lover her this much, freakin hurt, I’m a wimp”. As he shows me this lovely display of his affection, for which I am eternally grateful… he tells me, ” I don’t see you doing anything like this for me”.

Pause.
EXTREMELY LOUD LAUGHTER.
Disbelief.
WHAT?

Okay-

1. I’m breastfeeding, not the best time in the world to inject ink into the primary organ of my immune system, also I seem to recall bleeding. Bloodstream + ink + breastfeeding = possible poison? Who knows, but I’m not going to risk it.

2. We have been married 3.5 years. (almost). During which…. I have been supporting another human life directly from my own body for approximately 29 months (in one form or another). That is almost 2.5 years… A good portion of our marriage I have dedicated to being energyless to support the lives of our INCREDIBLY precious sons. 2 times I have endured incredible pain bringing them into the world.

Now what was that again about “I don’t see you doing anything like this for me”???

Yeah I think I got you beat JJ. But I still love you dearly, and I am sure some day your name will be permanently etched into my aging skin.

** DISCLAIMER- My husband is not a meat-head. He was saying this in jest. But still… I win

Yes, here it is… the new “mom car”. Not the best looking day to take pics… Once again, taken with my picture phone. I have a cute pic of the back, but I realized I don’t really want to put my license plate number up for all the internet to see

Hey- anyone else having issues with loading pictures on blogger? I keep having to go through Flickr because blogger pics is not working for me??? Stupid Internet!

Let’s see. So many thoughts, such random events. Hard to blog about life lately. Which isn’t all bad, it’s good too.

Family life (extended) is a roller coaster of sorts. But I see God’s hand at works, that is encouraging. My faith and hope are growing. Still much to pray about, and I’m so glad that I am home.

I have friends going through heart-wrenching experiences. My heart breaks. But then again, I see God’s hand at work, so I have hope. I have faith. I’m praying hard. All through the day. It’s hard to see people who are practically a part of you ache from the depths. It’s also hard to see more pain coming for them. (wince)

I’m learning a lot myself outside of these circumstances. I’m learning about constant forgiveness, even when it isn’t asked for. Church on Sunday was about not “being an echo”. Meaning- when people cause you pain in life by the things they do to you (or say about you,) not responding in such a way that echos that same attitude back. This is something God has been teaching me for awhile, but it hasn’t completely changed me yet. I’m at a point where I’m so sick of it. I’m tired of getting so hurt by something that may be unjustly said about me. Or a judgment someone may make on me. I’m tired of getting worked up. First being angry, than hurt…. and finally coming around to forgiveness… I just want to let God mold and shape my character in such a way that when I know I’m entering a situation where there is someone that has hurt me and inevitably will hurt me again, I won’t be hurt. That I will be able to show love back. Be patient, forgiving, and full of grace….cause Lord knows I have my issues. But this is something I can’t change myself. This is where the miraculous has to come in. This is a mountain for me. But the God I serve makes moving mountains a hobby So that is my big prayer for myself right now. I want my character to change this way. I don’t want it to be in just one situation that I change, but I want all of me to change. So that any time, any situation like this happens, I will react in a supernatural way, not out of my flesh.

Onto topics that are less deep. I got a minivan. I LOVE IT! I know I’m crazy, but this car is SUCH a blessing. It’s a 2006 Honda Odyssey EXL with navigation and dvd. I can freaking tell the car to change temperature or cd’s and it does it for me. Sliding doors rock with 2 kids. Being able to get to the back easily is WONDERFUL! It is white with tan interior… I would post a pic but it has been gross and rainy so they wouldn’t be nice.

My .mac picture posting is not working. I have a bunch of photos downloaded but can’t get them up Frown.

My parents are back from Florida! YIPPEE!!! Owen couldn’t be happier. The only bummer is we are leaving in a few days for Nashville. I’m excited for that trip, but sad I have to leave my parents so soon.

Physically. I swear I feel like I have run a marathon everyday. Well, that is probably exaggerated since having never run a marathon I have no clue what that feels like. BUT, let’s just say I’m very tired physically. My body actually aches by the time the kids are in bed for the night. I know breastfeeding eats up calories and everything…. but literally I’m just worn! I have had a blast with the boys lately. Playtime with Owen is just getting so much fun. It’s so fun to sit there playing with him and watch, literally WATCH those little wheels in his brain turn. Watch him figure stuff out. Watch him discover new things he can do. Oh I love it! Lukas is really starting to pay attention to everything. He can see pretty far now and I watch his eyes stay glued to his brother. I can already see him looking up to him. It is so precious. He is 12 weeks tomorrow, I can’t believe it.

That’s enough update for now, I’m tired

Lukas is just so full of Joy…. I love it. This smile melts me. I snapped this with my Samsung phone.

Look what my sweet husband did to himself Now you have to stay with me baby In case the vows, rings, house, and babies weren’t enough! I heart JJ!

Andrea started Photobooth Friday a couple of months ago and I haven’t been able to submit because all my photobooth photos are yet to be found. Packed in a box, God knows where?

However, last night, Meridith,Erin (this guys wife), and I went to see the Beastie Boys’ Indy film Awesome I F****n SHOT THAT!. Lo, and Behold there was a photobooth in the THEATER! So we happily took these fun girls night pics for Photobooth Friday!

Fun times.

“Just go to sleep and you will feel better in the morning.”

I don’t know what it is, but I get ultra emotional at night some times. This has been true my whole life. There are some nights, (note: not all nights,) that as it gets late I grow anxious. Like last night, suddenly all these concerns come to my head. I start processing the events of the day and suddenly my mind is rolling down a steep hill. First the thoughts come to me slowly, and then more, and faster… till sometimes I’m just emotional and weepy and I have lost track of why. It starts with… “Wow, I was really awkward at (fill in blank), Why did that person say (that) not so nice thing about me? What did she mean when she said (that)? Did I come off wrong when I said (this)? Suddenly I feel like I am in elementary school playing “bombardment”, a game where tons of balls would come at you at once, from the team on the other half of the gym. What a nightmare game! I hated that. But that is how my mind makes me feel sometimes. I’m being pelted with hurtful thoughts that I don’t want!

So last night was one of those nights. I laid awake in bed with my mind spiraling downward. Thanks to my mom, this time it didn’t get out of control. As I’m growing, maturing, I find that when these times happen I often hear her old words to me. They are words I have found to be true over and over. “Honey, go to sleep and I promise you will feel better in the morning. These things seem like a big deal now, but they won’t in the morning.” Last night, again, I heard those words. I remembered how true they were. Gave these thoughts to God. I closed my eyes. I fell asleep.

I woke up this morning as I usually do after nights like that. Wondering who the sobby wimp was last night. And feeling like a whole new, stable person. Mom, once again, you were so right.

I’m a “doer”. I see situations or injustice and I want to intervene passionately, whether or not that is something God wants me to do. It’s so hard to just sit, wait, and pray- to interceed. So hard. But I know that sometimes that is the only appropriate response. I know I’m so strongly effected by things that go on immediately around me because God wants me to channell that passion into prayer. Yet- sometimes it is so difficult for me to let go and trust God. I like to SEE immediate results. I like to put people in their place who are hurting those I care about. Sometimes that doesn’t do a thing though! And I have to have faith in what I can’t see. That’s the basis of faith anyway, and if I’m unable to do that, what is my faith worth? But it’s a total battle inside me. Some days I’m so effected by things THAT AREN’T EVEN HAPPENING TO ME that I feel like I’m going to sink into deep depression and I find myself fighting to not go there. My husband is a total God-given balance. He puts me in perspective. Speaks truth that is sometimes hard to hear, when sometimes I take the burden on way too much. This isn’t something I can just let myself do when I have 2 kids to care for. If I’m slumped because I’m so effected by things going on in my friends and family’s lives… then they suffer for no reason. Anyway, I’m wrestling to find that balance. To care, to interceed, but not be devestated. I have my own issues to deal with than to get too wrapped up in everyone elses anyway. God help me trust you more. Help me understand the power that is in prayer.

Another week. I can not believe how fast time is going. It’s like one second it is Monday, the next it is Friday and I’m clueless how we got there! Lukas is totally getting huge. He is 14 lbs and 24 inches. He is filling out most his 3-6 month clothing! This morning I woke up at 8am and realized I was not up with Lukas once last night. I’m still not sure if I just slept ultra-hard and never heard him, or if he really did sleep that long. I’m voting for he slept that long though. Jeff didn’t hear him and he probably would have. So here’s to another hopeful night- please do it again lukie!

On Friday night JJ’s parents called to let us know they were going to be here the next day. It was so nice having them back. I only wish they could have stayed longer. Owen was on cloud 9 to have his “mimi” and “pawpaw” here. And literally every time they are in town so much gets done around the house. This time, our toilet got fixed and a top was put on our entertainment center (that arrived last week). When we had recieved it, I went up on our 2nd story catwalk and realized why it was cheaper than the other version… the top was unfinished. In my hormonal mess, I practically cried. Jeff and his dad went to Lowes, bough wood, stained it, and screwed it over the top within a few hours. It looks amazing.

Tonight Jeff hung our curtains in the master. I love them and am happy that it is getting cozier in there. Now I need to develop cool pics and frame them for the walls so it will feel even better.

This week I haven’t planned much because I was not sure when Jeff’s parents would be coming. We have a family bday dinner for my nephew (Ian’s) birthday on Tuesday. A couple playdates and a girls night have been “loosely” talked about but not set in stone. I’m obsessing on Minivans and trying to find a 2003 to 2005 Honda Odyssey with navigation and dvd, so hopefully I can trade my MDX in and have to pay no more… but we’ll see, may not happen. I’m just tired of the circus acrobatics to get in the back seat and barely being able to get the kids in the door with a carrier in one hand and toddler in the other. Can I make that work? YES, but if I can find a more practical option without paying “new” prices I will go for it. So far 2 people want my car too. The Lovely Kristy Chowning (linked in menu), and Jeff’s parents. but maybe we should sell Jeff’s car? Volvo XC90 anyone?

Things I’m looking forward too? Parents coming home end of march (from Florida). To owen his grandma “NONI” has become synonomis with “bye bye”. First week in April- Nashville, where I get to stay with my beautiful cousin, and see many old friends, and maybe even see some blogger pals, Joanna, AJ, LuLu, and Hula Seventy (can you tell I’m not into linking today?) And for Easter- off to Springfield to spend time with Jeff’s family for a week. I’m pretty happy today thinking of these things… because after all that weather should be great and Owie’s 2nd birthday will be here. I’m presently brainstorming on what to do for that. I’m thinking pretty small, back yard, grilling out… maybe a “star” theme. Or “animals”.

Wow, I have babbled on today. But now it is time for bed, Just in case Lukie does not sleep till 8 am today

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